How I learned to stop worrying and love my school

How I Learned to stop Worrying and Love my School.



             Have you ever picked up a book and thought “hey, this book describes my life perfectly!”   Of course not! You can’t know the contents of a book by simply holding it, you have to read it first. Don’t judge a book by its cover, my English teacher always said, followed by something about figurogative language and not taking things literally, or something like that. I da know, I wasn’t really listening that day.

             Anyways, there is one book that I believe describes my life perfectly. Well actually, I guess you could say I just skimmed it… or maybe just skimmed the Wikipedia page, but still. The book was called Fahrenheit 451, and from what I, uh, skimmed, its an epic space opera about firefighters, robotic dogs, and flat screen televisions. And something about books too, but I didn’t get that far.

             Anyways, I believe the book is the perfect metaphor for everyone’s high school years, the years that everyone should see as the highpoint of their lives. The food, the tests, the people, everything in high school is awesome.

             First off, let me tell you about the food. Very recently, Michelle Obama started the “War on Food”. This lady wants to bomb our lunchroom by taking away all the delicious, nutritious food in the cafeteria and replacing it with a bunch of green stuff. Now who in the world would want to eat something that’s green?!? Luckily, the school system bravely fought back by refusing to serve any of that green crud, instead serving a nice meal where everything is pale and beige.

You know, in the past, being fat was a sign of noblity. Its simple logic, really, the richer a person is, the more food he is able to bye. Now, everybody is fat. Its a beautiful thing, really, obesity. World Hunger, what a bunch of heuy... I mean just the other day I saw a picture of this "poor" african kid with a stomach just as bloated as anyones. Clearly this is proof that food is no longer an issue. What our school food may lack in nutrients it makes up for in calories and fat. What could possibly be more satisfying?

This of course proves that quantity is indeed more important than quality, which actually connects back to the book. The television programs, comic books, and how-to guides may lack sustinance, but they remain satisfying anyway, just like school food.

Speaking of comic books, I should probably

             While I'm on the subject of Farenheit 451, I should probably mention how the schools work in the book. In the story, the teachers don't use unnessesary filler in a class, they go strait to the facts. No more "how do I apply this to life after school", or "isn't there another way to solve this", and definately no more "but wait, according to this article..." Never again will students have to question their teachers, because anything and everything said by the teacher shoud be taken for granted. Because the teacher is always right.

             This, of course, is because of education’s greatest creation yet, the standardized test. On a standardized test, there is never any ambiguity to an answer. For every question, there is a single definite answer, an answer which is considered law. It doesn't matter the subject, English, Science, Politics. All other answers are false, including the ones not on the paper. Finally, an establishment without arguments.

             Now some may say a test is not an accurate measure of one’s mental ability; some students may break under stress, while others may work at a slower pace. To that, I proudly say "so what?", because I know that it is these tests that build character. These test prove once and for all that speed is more important than accuracy, and accuracy is more important than knoledge.

We live in a culture that values speed. Everything else is already fast, the food, the cars, a student's attention span, why not education? As a matter of fact, I think we should take Farenheit's example and make thing's faster. I mean, in the books, the billboards have to be some 200 feet long for anyone to read it. Speed is important. Speed gives people a rush. Speed gets you high.

Which brings me to my final point. The people. People are important. People make up a majority of the population. There is a good chance that all of you also happen to be people. Which is a good thing, because if theres anything I like about high school, its people.

Most obviously, we have the teachers.

